The Art of Rejection
Remember in high school how the month leading up to a big dance was so filled with elaborate invitations and extravagant responses? Then there were some who were fortunate enough to have multiple invitations and they had to choose? (Some call that situation a Princess Problem -- too many suitors.)
It's never appealing when that person complains about having too many invitations, right? Kinda makes you want to throw up in your mouth, especially when you're sitting on the sidelines with nothing. No date to the dance.
So there's definitely a need for class when handling the situation with too many offers. And there's also an art to respectfully rejecting an offer - no matter how uninterested one may be in said offer.
I am currently in a situation with multiple internship offers where I need to consider how to respectfully and artfully turn down offers. In some ways, I kinda wish this were high school because the stakes were so much lower back then.
But it's not. And in a lot of ways I'm glad that it's not. (I never got this kind of attention in high school!)
So I seek the guidance of TTKS authors and readers. How does one go about rejecting an offer in such a way that it a) leaves the person/company grateful to have recruited you and b) possibly keeps the door open for future employment?
Oh, and for the one I do accept, should I answer with custom messages in Hershey kisses or a piece of paper inside a jello mold?
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9 comments:
I'm sure these guys deal with "no" all the time. Maybe you are self-aggrandizing too much? (hey... its a joke!)
The family is the ultimate graceful out. I mean, look at all the athletes that "want to be closer to home" and then sign with a team nowhere near their home. Or how many say "I need to spend more time with my kids" but then they are seen everyday hanging out with shirtless male actors?
So, just say, "I love your offer and your company, but for the sake of my family, offer XYZ is a better fit for us right now."
Even if it's sorta just bunk.
:)
I'd be very tempted to copy paste some of the tripe that is included in college rejection letters: "We regret to inform you..." "...this was not an easy decision..." "...due to the high number of applicants..." yada-yada-yada.
Short, sincere, appreciative. Can't go wrong there. I wouldn't even say that you should feel like you need to throw the family in there. It's probably enough just to say that you appreciate that they gave you the opportunity to interview much less an offer and that, for a variety of reasons, the offer you've accepted is a better fit for you.
In the end, no's no. I doubt they care that much what your reasons are. They're probably just going to be impressed that you're a class act and leave it at that.
Oh Adam! You haven't ever had a real job have you. (hey...it's a joke!) :)
You're right that I sound self-aggrandizing. I was trying not to.
Definitely don't think the 'family' aspect is a legit way to go. If that were the case then I look foolish for even pursuing the option in the first place. And truly, my options aren't unfriendly to family.
And to Chris, you're right, a no's a no. And while companies deal with getting turned down every year, they definitely want to know why. Their yield numbers are important and they want to improve it. The other aspect is if the option you choose is in a different function or industry than another option that you love, but are declining, then you want to be careful in your reasoning so you open the door if you think there would be a reason for you to come crawling back for an offer.
So while I may not have to volunteer my reasons/explanations, I should be ready to give them.
Lastly, sounds like you suggest 'email' as the best method. Is that right? I'm thinking phone call.
Hm. I guess I've not been privy to that end of the recruiting process, so I'm not sure what value they'd place on hearing your rationale.
I wouldn't say email, though. No bueno. I would have done a handwritten note, but if you've heard and think that a phone call would go better, then go for it.
I would avoid "better offer" type phrases. Hm.
"First off, I really appreciate that you gave me the opportunity to interview." (insert a few more pleasantries).
"I've decided to take an offer with __________," but your offer made it a particularly tough decision."
I mean, if they want to know, then they want to know, so you shouldn't feel any qualms about being straight.
"_________, __________, and __________ were big factors in my decision, and I felt that the offer I accepted was a better fit."
Is that the sort of dialogue you envision?
Chris' suggestion match mine, except, be humble, don't name names, as it could unintentionally harm future opportunity.
That being said, one would think that such an esteemed Business School would have training in something as simple as this...... ;)
RE: never holding a real job. That is actually sort of true. Well, in the sense that I have never been very steeped in the corporate world. I've worked for myself, or for small 3-4 man operations. Which is how I like it. The communal fridge alone is enough to keep away from an office. :D
The family angle was sort of a joke as well. Kinda, "hey it worked for Griffey Jr!"
It's a good problem to have certainly. Especially "in this economy".
(Oh, and if you want to talk about self-aggrandizement, you should read my blog... :P)
Never give them a reason. Otherwise, just like when breaking up, they will try to resolve that reason.
Give them a gentle no, thank them for their interest and say you are going with another offer. It's business, not personal.
That being said, leave the door open in case your internship isn't so hot. Be explicit with them that you'd like to talk next fall about full time possibilities.
See, my instincts are more in RPG's direction. I'd say don't plan on giving them a reason, but think beforehand about how you want to articulate your reasons in case they ask. Even then, I'd keep it short and sweet.
Good stuff RG. It's personal in the sense that you develop your network as you go through the recruiting process. When you've networked your way into an offer, it becomes more personal when you turn it down. But this kind of thing is a common aspect of the recruiting process, so it's business.
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