Finishing the Decade on Leave

Ho Ho Ho has a whole new meaning

In the Woods household

So Tiger is on leave

From golf

And other stuff

Check out Bill Simmons' column

He calls it Tiger Zoo

It's not everyday

Where my wife updates me on sports news

Until Tiger Zoo

So don't fool yourself

You're following this story

As well

Because who isn't?

I'm still in the camp

Of people

Who think this is a hoax

It is a hoax

Right?

Ok, maybe not

But I really hope that

Tiger avoids Oprah

And Leno

If he does a public interview

I say

Go with Phil Mickelson

Ha, that would be hilar

Phil says

"When I took my leave,

My wife had cancer.

Why are you taking yours?"

And then

Awkward silence

Next question please

The whole event would be

High comedy

And high empathy

And it would be sooo much more entertaining

Than if Tiger sat down

With Rick Reilly

Or Jim Nantz

Actually

My honest suggestion for

his confessionapology

is Johnny Miller

Think about it

Miller would skewer him

As only Miller can

And Tiger would take it

Like a man

That's what he needs to do when

He emerges from hybernation

With Elin

Being paid to stand by him

What an end to the decade

Or the beginning

Of a new one.